British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER A BAD NEWS

British: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysian: No stock.

RETURNING A CALL

British: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysian: Hello, who call?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

British: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysian:: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY 

British: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysian:: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

British: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysian: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

British: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysian: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE 

British: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysian: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

British: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysian: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

British: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysian: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

British: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysian: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU..

British: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysian: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. 

British: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysian: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

British: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysian: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

British: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysian: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

British: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysian: Celaka you!